I was kidnapped tonight. Two friends and fellow graduates, Megan and Trelawney (I love that name) came to my house and asked me if I wanted to go camping. I am not the camping type, but they would not take no for an answer. I finally agreed to go, but only for a while. I wasn't going to spend the night though.

So, I am following them out to where they are camping and I notice I am almost out of gas. They said it wasn't far, so I didn't worry. Turns out they were camping out in Bumblefuck USA. I have NO idea how they got there. I just watched their tail lights the whole time. I knew there was no way in hell I was going to find my way back home.

Turns out there were other people (also fellow grads) camping with them. Keith, Dave, Carrie, and Sara. They were camping in the middle of a pasture filled with cows. WTF?! Welcome to Iowa!

They had a fire going, but they all went down to the pond to swim. Me, being VERY self-conscious, did not swim. Nor did Sara. We stood on the dock and watched them the best we could considering it was pitch black out. It was a scene from those horror movies where all the victims are swimming in the pond, and the killer is watching from the shadows waiting to attack. Scared myself with these thoughts. Sara and I went back up the hill to the fire and became pyros. We were burning Doritoes. They burn well! The flames got really, really bright with the chips. We made toilet paper torches also. Then we burned an empty Pepsi can. It made the flames greenish. It was kinda cool.

The others were done swimming. We made some smores and listened to some music. Then I got this weird urge to act out hot coal walking. I went up to the fire and just stared at it. I had this wicked mental game going on in my head. Finally, my immortal teenager mentality won out and I stood on the fire. It was exhilirating! I can't even describe it. I stood there for about fifteen seconds. It was awesome! I was the male Joan of Arc.

The time came for me to come back home though. They directed me how to get back home so I wouldn't get lost. But guess what. I got lost. Guess how long it took me to take a wrong turn. About ten seconds. Yes, it's true. I went the wrong way right out of the driveway. I am such a dumbass.

After 20 minutes of going the wrong way, I realized that I should've been home by then. And it didn't help that there was a bug flying around the car freaking me out. I was out in the middle of nowhere on all these gravel roads with no light but the light of my headlights to see by. I was scared to death. My imagination went into overdrive. Right about then, I passed a cemetary. NOT cool at all! I freaked beyond belief.

I finally got turned around and tried to find my way back. About 15 minutes back, I saw headlights. The car wasn't moving though. It was just sitting there in the middle of the road. I was certain it was the psycho killer from my imagination that was going to kill me and dispose of my body. Much to me relief, it was my friends. They had seen me go the wrong way and had come to find me. Thank goodness for friends!

One of them got in the car with me to help me, and I followed the others who were in the truck. This is the moment my gas light decides to come on. Shit! I am out of gas. So, again, I start freaking out. Eventually, we get back to a place where I can find my way home from. Keith, fortunately, has a container of gas in the back of his truck. He puts some in my tank and informs that when I took that wrong turn, I was heading towards Missouri! Oy vey! I almost left the damn state!

With gas in tank, and calmness back in body, I start on the way home. I make it home an hour late. The trip, which should've taken me 15 minutes, took an hour instead. Yes, I realize I would've been late if I had made it home in 15 minutes, but that isn't the point. The point is I had one damn wild night.

I am home now, safe. And best of all, I am not in a body bag with a tag on my toe. Phew!