8.13.99

I've never been a superstitious person when it came to Friday the 13th symbolizing bad things. Nothing bad had ever happened to me on one of those days. However, today was the worst day of my life in years.

They say you never really know how much you love someone until you've lost them. I never really knew what they meant. Now I know all too well.

I feel like only half of a person. I feel like my heart has been torn out and trampled upon by the entire population of the world. Each step hurting five times as much as the one before it.

I literally feel as if my life is over.

I apologize for any pain I have caused you. I guess it is true when they say you always hurt the one you love. Well, seeing how I've hurt you more than I can possibly imagine, I must love you more than life itself. And I do.

I only hope that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all the horrible things I've done. I know that is asking for a lot more than I deserve. And if you decide you never want to have anything to do with me ever again, I will have to accept that.

All I can say is I'm sorry. I love you.

"Life goes on, but I'm gone, cuz I die without you"