Today went much better than yesterday, although I must admit, it would've been rather difficult for it to have gone worse.

Ricky got online last night and we talked. Things appear to be better. However, there is a long way left to go still.

He was very forgiving considering what I had done. He told me to keep the gift, and despite how guilty I felt keeping it, I followed his wishes. Thank you, Ricky. I love them.

Something cool/creepy happened today. I was talking to someone from the boards and it turns out they have been reading this diary for awhile now. It kinda threw me for a loop. It never even occured to me that people aside from my friends were reading this. We got to talking, found we had a shared loved for a certain performer and are going to send some tapes to each other. I gave her my addy and she was like "Oh yeah. I remember how you got a PO Box awhile ago because someone was reading your mail, right?" It totally surprised me! It made me feel kinda like a character from a book or movie or something. And she had been reading my story or watching my show. I don't know if I can really describe it or not, but it was just a weird (but very cool) feeling. So, if you are a reader of My Inner Monologue, let me hear from you! Send an email or a voice mail or something. I'd love to hear from you. You can get in touch with me here.

Went for a run today again. I went back down to the track to do it, but instead of the firemen running around all over the place, it was the football players. Even worse! I have nothing against jocks in general, just the few bigot-jocks at my *old* school who gave them all a bad name. So, I did a 180 and got the hell out of there before my windshield fell victim again (10/20/98). I was careful not to get another flat tire. Got home, did another short road run. Became a magnet to bugs. Even had a few fly into my mouth. Um...yum. As I got home, was asked by three 20-something guys who mowed the lawn next door. How the hell do I know?! I don't take down names. And anyway, that neighbor is a bitch. I pay no attention to what goes on at her house.

We finally told Jan about my going to San Francisco. We had to make up a lie though or she would be pissed. We told her a bunch of friends got together and gave me the trip as a birthday present. Her response: "Wish I had friends like that." So, everything appears to be ok with the jealous sister who thinks i get every little thing i ask for. Just hope she never finds out.

Send me voicemail, dammit! I got it for a reason. 1-877-541-6958