Two shows in one day. I hate days like this. There is no way I am ever going to be able to do it as a career. I will need an official understudy that goes on for all matinees. But, sigh, then I would feel guilty for missing a show. I hate catch 22's. I did get a very sweet compliment though. One woman had seen the show I sang from on Broadway and told me she liked my rendition "better than the professionals." That made my day.

At the first show, the grandmother (maternal) who has estranged herself from my family was there. I looked at her and it was insane. I could see my mother in her almost as if they were the same person. I had never noticed it before. They look exactly the same. I now know what my mother will look like when she gets older. And it got me to thinking. In all my life, it has never appeared as if anyone I was with was growing up. Time seems to pass so slowly we never even realize how quickly it actually is flying by. I've seen what my mom is going to look like in 30+ years. I can't really explain what it's done to me, but it has changed me some. As I glance out of the corner of my eye as I type this entry and look at Mom, I can't help but get a little choked up.

Ugh. Sorry about that. I know it probably made no sense and just makes me seem like a freak. I'll stop with the sentimental stuff. I don't even know why I try to express myself. I am not eloquent and just end up making an ass of myself. I'm done.

Thanks to Amy for her very nice surprise I reveived yesterday. I got a very sweet menagerie of birthday presents in the mail from her. Quite a surprise considering I wasn't expecting it! Very nice of you Amy. Thank you!

Again, no tanning got done today and no working out. I am slacking off and hating myself for it. What did I do that was constructive today? I took a nap. Does that count?

I have to get up early again tomorrow to do another matinee. Oy-freakin-vey. This is getting to be too much. There's no way in hell I will survive as a performer. No way in hell.

Georgia was just named Junior Miss. This is a sexist world. Where are they Junior Mister Contests?! I can use forty thousands dollars for college just as much as a girl. I want justice!