I finally got my webcam to work. Been having fun taking pics with it. I still don't know how to make it so the image shows up on the site so people can see me, but give me a few years and I'll figure it out.

Had the first class of my new dance classes yesterday. It was great. Beth teaches it. Background on Beth: She works at B+B and was in the national tour of A Chorus Line a few years ago. I actually saw her in that production. I am always playing around and dancing at work and one day she gave me a little pointer about my passe (sp) and since I have been harrassing her to give dance lessons. We finally got them arranged and the kids at work who go to AMDA (and some who don't go to AMDA) take the classes from her. Last night was the first one and I loved it. It killed me physically though. No pain, no gain, right?

I bought some of the materials for my top secret project today. Boy, this is not only going to be time consuming, but expensive! And it is top secret for now. Please don't email or IM me asking what it is. I'll let you all know when it's time. And I have a feeling that is sooner than later, so just calm your nerves :)

Went shopping today. Actually, window shopping. There are so many clothes I would like to buy, if only I had the money to buy it. Also, I never know if something looks good on me, or if it's something I can actually wear, or if I even have any clothes I can wear it with. And new clothes sound really nice right now.

I've been thinking about my name a lot lately. Do I keep it for my professional name? Change it slightly? And what if I finally settle on something, and then equity says I can't have it? I am so indecisive it will take me years to come up with something else. What should my name be? Any ideas. Please give me some. There's always Nicholas Mitchell. Or Nick Mitchell. Or Nicholas Craig Mitchell. Or drop my first name and go by Craig Mitchell. Or come up with other possible variations of my real name? Or change my first name to something that would sound good with my last? Or change my last name to something that sounds good with my first? Or....or....or....or. Please send suggestions.

You ever have one of those days? One of those days when out of the blue, a realization smacks you across the face and refuses to let you ignore it til you accept it? Well, I do. I did yesterday actually. It is a wonderful feeling because you now know yourself in a way you never did before. But, on the flipside of the coin, it's usually a fault of mine I discover, so how am I supposed to feel good about that? Does self-knowledge outweigh personal traits? Can these traits which seem to be psychologically implanted in you go away? Or at least adapt and change somewhat? Can I just go through my life lying and trying to trick myself? Will this never ending paragraph of questions ever end?

That's another fault of mine. I always avoid serious situations by putting up a front and making everything into a joke. I hide behind my humor and don't often let people see the real me. Or see how the things they say often make me want to cry...instead of laughing which is what I always do so I don't get hurt. But it doesn't work. I do get hurt. I get hurt rather easily.

I think I could ramble on forever about this, so I'll go back to my quiet, humorous corner for now. And Keith, I am sorry I dumped all of this on you last night. You were the only one online and I had to talk to someone. Lord knows I could never talk to anyone about these kinds on things in real life, so seeing that you were online meant that for the duration of that conversation, you weren't Keith, the person I see everytime I go to work. You were Keith, the words on a screen. And it made it easier to talk to you about this stuff if I thought about it like that. And Jesus, will I ever stop rambling?!

There I go again. Since I'm not really getting anywhere right now, I shall banish the thought.

And, remember, I have the webcam working now. So look for Nick's Live Porn Palace coming soon to a computer monitor near you.

Again...a joke...

...maybe.